Alexandra Petri

03/01/2017 - 7:00pm

    Reince Priebus and Stephen Bannon definitely get along. Everything you have heard about their relationship, says Priebus, is wrong. If you have heard that they are slowly engaged in a battle to the death, that is definitely not true. That is their, uh, belligerent chemistry. They are like brothers (Kim Jong Un and Kim Jong Nam), just regular brothers...

02/03/2017 - 3:30pm

    Look, Judge Neil Gorsuch seems like a lovely person. I would gladly let him be the spokesman for my travel website. He possesses a sharp jurist's mind (framing the sentence that way sounds as if he has it in a jar somewhere, but I do not mean that he has it in a jar), and those who know him seem to...

02/02/2017 - 10:00am

    I apologize to Donald Trump. As Sean Spicer so wisely said at his first news conference on Monday (It was the first. The one that happened on Saturday did not happen at all, and I recognize that!), it is unfair to be so mean and negative all the time.

  ...

01/23/2017 - 3:00pm

    This creepy parallel universe is a pleasant enough place to visit, but I think I would like to go home now.

    Don't get me wrong, it has its charms.

    There is a certain unified aesthetic to it...

01/23/2017 - 1:00pm

    The sky over the Capitol is a dull, unpleasant shade of white. Only one of the five flags hanging over the inauguration stage has the right number of stars.

    The red hats have multiplied. You could have sworn there were only a few hats, but when you...

01/17/2017 - 2:00pm

    Donald Trump has been blessed with two tall and healthy adult sons who have slain numerous wild beasts using only sticks that spit fire. They are married to human women, and their hair is sleek and glossy like the back of a marmot. They possess the right number of teeth. Donald Trump loves to speak to...

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