Alexandra Petri

05/01/2016 - 12:00pm

    "Frankly, if Hillary Clinton were a man, I don't think she'd get 5 percent of the vote. The only thing she's got going is the woman's card," Trump said Tuesday night, after winning 5 primaries.

    Ah yes, the woman's card.

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03/06/2016 - 9:00pm

    Is Chris Christie okay?

    I believe that Donald Trump was talking, Tuesday night, and that he, in fact, held an entire press conference. But it was impossible to hear him over Chris Christie's eyes.

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03/02/2016 - 12:00am

    Hello? Is this customer support?

    Oh, thank God.

    This is the Republican Party. We purchased a "Donald" a few months ago.

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02/23/2016 - 1:00pm

    We have been hearing a lot lately about special places in hell for women who are insufficiently supportive of other women. I was wondering what else Feminist Hell contains, when, at the midpoint of my life, I found myself lost in a wood so dark that the path ahead was...

02/21/2016 - 4:00pm

    Hear me out.

    Our present pope, popular as he is, can surely not expect to be pope forever. Whereas Donald Trump is immortal, and knows it. Why else would he behave as he does?

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02/17/2016 - 2:00pm

    I keep watching these things so you don't have to. I wish someone else would watch them for me. I went into this election season a comparatively young woman, spry and filled with hope, and now I am a crippled and elderly crone typing this with one hand and shouting...

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