Alexandra Petri

02/17/2017 - 1:00pm

    To call this past weekend in the Trump administration a garbage fire would be a disservice to garbage fires, which at least shed light and get rid of garbage.

    The Trump administration is doing exactly what I do when I try to assemble Ikea furniture, in the sense that it has clearly not consulted...

11/27/2016 - 1:00pm

    OK, you could live through the next four years. But if you have money and imagination, and are not afraid of robots, why not try one of these theme parks, cleverly designed for people not satisfied with the results of the election? We will deposit you there by helicopter and see to your every need. It...

11/24/2016 - 6:00pm

    Listen, what proof do you have that this dead lizard wrapped in the Confederate flag will not make an excellent chief strategist and senior counselor to the president of the United States?

    I, for one, believe that everyone deserves a chance.

11/18/2016 - 6:00pm

    Election night. The results come in. You tear your hair and rend your garments.

    Wild with rage and pain, you stumble out into the street. Around you, the monuments crumble. Abraham Lincoln's posture on his memorial has changed so that he is...

11/16/2016 - 6:00pm

    Donald Trump's victory speech, loosely paraphrased:

    Barron, my boy, this is quite expected.

    There was never going to be any other outcome. I knew: All I had to do was want it.

11/08/2016 - 4:00pm

    Thank you for inviting me to your party or event on Nov. 9. I can probably come!

    However, there is a slight chance that I might be underground in a bunker screaming and screaming where no one can hear me.


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